Friday Fanatics. Meet Jack Fellure, the Presidential Nominee of the Prohibition Party (Yes, really.)

As I mentioned in a previous post, America hosts a sizable Radical Right subculture. This day’s posts will be solely dedicated to the bizarre religious nut-jobs that horrify and entertain the rest of us. Today’s post was found courtesy of Darrell Dow, the author of Stuff Fundies Like  (Stay tuned for an interview with him coming soon).

Behold,  I bring you Jack Fellure, Radical Extraordinaire – and Presidential Nominee of the Prohibition Party (Yes, it really exists). All you need to do to enjoy his crazy antics is to access his website here, or merely read below. Bear with me; he’s wordy, but the entertainment value is well worth the time.

The following text was all taken from his campaign website:

Why You Should Vote For Jack Fellure For President of the United States 2012

“My Presidential Campaign Platform is the Authorized 1611 King James Bible. God Almighty wrote that Book as the supreme constitution and absolute authority in the affairs of all men for all time and eternity. It shall never be necessary to change it.

Quality leather bound copies of this Bible have been sent to the Presidential Office, the Supreme Court, the Senate, the House of Representatives, the National Republican Party, the National Democratic Party, and the Federal Election Commission.

Should I be elected to the Presidency, this Bible will be open on the desk in the White House Oval Office to Psalm 33:12, “BLESSED IS THE NATION WHOSE GOD IS THE LORD”, and also to II Samuel 23:3, “HE THAT RULETH OVER MEN MUST BE JUST, RULING IN THE FEAR OF GOD”. It shall never be closed during my tenure. I will take the inauguration oath of office with my hand on my Bible opened to Deuteronomy 28.

God Almighty, the creator and Holy Sovereign of the universe, ordained only three institutions on earth; the family, the church, and the civil government. He wrote one Book (the Holy Bible) to govern all three, making them equally responsible to that one supreme book of law.

Every basic truth and fundamental philosophy required for proper survival here and hereafter is contained in the Holy Bible. IT’S THE GREATEST SINGLE BOOK EVER WRITTEN ON HUMAN GOVERNMENT, and upon its precepts our nation was conceived, born and nurtured to become the greatest nation in the history of the human race. WE ARE NOW REJECTING THAT BOOK AND THOSE PRECEPTS.

Therein lies the eternal cardinal truth of why our nation continues to decay and deteriorate, morally and physically. Every failed civilization in recorded history rejected God’s moral laws first, and then collapsed physically. God will allow ours to be no different. We as a nation will either return to the Bible for divine direction or continue our human self-destruction. God provides no other alternatives. All men shall ultimately stand before a high tribunal to be judged by God and His Book with no court of appeals ever.

I encourage everyone to RETAIN, USE, AND DISTRIBUTE MY WRITINGS AND POSITION PAPERS FROM THE PREVIOUS PRESIDENTIAL CAMPAIGNS (1988 to 2012). THEY ARE ALL AS APPLICABLE NOW AS BEFORE. I haven’t shifted positions or altered course one iota. I never intend to, so help me God.

Yours for a nation under the authority of Almighty God, Jack Fellure United States Presidential Candidate 2012”


For : A National Return to reading God’s Book, the Holy Bible. This includes teaching the true Christian history and heritage of our nation in the public schools. It also includes bringing voluntary prayer and Bible reading back into the public schools.

Against : Abortion, and especially paying for abortions with government funding.

For : Leaders whose decisions are governed by what’s right or wrong rather than what is politically expedient.

Against : The Liquor Industry which is a detriment to our nation. Alcohol is America’s number one drug problem.

For : Balancing the Federal Budget. The Government must quit spending more than its income.

Against : Continuing to permit criminals to go unpunished.

For : Making Homosexuality illegal. This will stop much of the AIDS plague.

Against : Allowing Anti-American organizations, such as the American Civil Liberties Union and the Communist Party to continue their destruction of this nation.

For : Making Prisons into places of punishment instead of leisure.

Against : Moving our jobs and industrial production to foreign nations.

For : Capital Punishment. God Almighty mandated it.

Against : Every movement, effort, and person that would remove God from our national currency and declarations.

For : Getting the United States out of the United Nations (UN) and getting the UN out of the United States.

Against : The continued moral destruction of our society by the television and entertainment media.

For : Reducing the Tax Burden of the working American.

Against : The New World Order, Pornography, and Gun Control.

The Sword of 1611

 Sanctify them through thy truth: thy word is truth. John 17:17

Take the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God: [Ephesians 6:17]

No comment necessary. He just said it all.

About literatelibran

Writer of words, thinker of thoughts, dreamer of dreams, mom. View all posts by literatelibran

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