Category Archives: Music

Truth # 1 – There is No Time.

My mother always told me, “Life is what you make of it.” She’s right. Life is a blank canvas, waiting for you to paint, sketch, or write what you want on it; if you don’t, if you lead a passive consumer life, you’ll be about as satisfied as you are when you buy That Thing featured in all the commercials – which is to say, not very – and no one will take your complaints seriously. I used to live a life that my ex called “following the path of least resistance.” I allowed life to happen willy-nilly, and I adapted accordingly, because I had no real concept of what sort of life I wanted to create. I had time, I thought, to figure it out; I was willing to spend my twenties in a haze of passivity. That passivity ultimately ended up in motherhood, marriage, divorce, and lots of permanent scars and craters in the landscape of my life. Some of the happenings were fantastically good (My son is amazing, for instance.), but if I’d taken a more direct approach to decision-making, if I’d formulated some sort of a game plan for life, my life would definitely look much different than it does, now. It doesn’t, and that’s that – but I’d like to encourage you to take control of the time that you have, because you aren’t guaranteed a later. To quote a dear friend of mine that is not on the blogosphere:

 “your world, your life is yours to shape.  the universe hands you a hammer with which you can tap or you can bang on your life as you see fit to make it the way you want it.  but when you stop doing, when you wallow and mope and allow all the crud to bury your will, you flip that hammer around and offer the handle to whomever is out there.  and when that happens, more often than not, some bastard is going to grab hold and just whack away and dent you all to hell.  but even if you are lucky and some kind person takes possession, their well meaning taps inevitably also do damage — for they do not know what shape you really need and want your life to be.”

Even if you don’t know what you want, your best guess is better than anyone else’s- because it’s yours and this is your life. So, here’s the truth: you don’t have time to goof around with. Time is an illusion. You have this moment, right here- the present. You can spend it any way that you choose, but there’s no such thing as “buying time,” and this moment is irreplaceable.

“Hey man, d’you wanna buy a watch?”

“Hey no, man. Like, I’m not into time, man.”

– Tommy Chong (this is one of my earliest movie memories – thanks, Dad)

You’re better off making it up as you go along than allowing anyone else to do so. Even the most well-intentioned ‘other’ is going to have ulterior motives, good or not. During the above-mentioned passive haze of my 20s, I stumbled into a Barnes & Noble with one of my best girlfriends, and while I was scanning the shelves for Wayne Dyer books I saw this: pronoia The cover is attention-grabbing, so I picked it up and flipped it over. Imagine my surprise when I read this:

“I have seen the future of American literature and its name is Rob Brezsny.” – Tom Robbins

(Tom Robbins is my favorite author. His books are the Bible of my life, and I first encountered his work on the shelves of a thrift store- Jitterbug Perfume was the most satisfying novel I’d ever read, and it only cost me fifty cents.) I didn’t buy the book. I waited, but when I went back later it was gone. I scanned bookstore shelves for it constantly, over and over, everywhere I went. Finally, nearly two years later, I found the book in a different bookstore in a different city while shopping with the same friend. And I bought it then.

From the cover:

Human beings are selfish, small-minded, violence-prone savages, civilization is a blight on the earth, and the rising tide of chaos ensures that everything’s going to fall apart any day now. Right?

Wrong, says Rob Brezsny. In fact, evil is boring. Cynicism is stupid. Despair is lazy. The truth is that the universe is inherently friendly. Life is a sublime game created for our amusement and illumination, and it always gives us exactly what we need, exactly when we need it.

This book causes enlightened introspection, spontaneous optimism, and careful evaluation of your intentions – all in a flippant, artistic, playful manner. It’s the sort of book you might color in, underline, and write in the margins of. It is, in short, a guidebook to life. I still have two more entries inspired by this book, but for now, I’ll close with snippets of interest from the interwebs:



Stay tuned for more Pronoia and an update on my word count for NaNoWriMo.

Of Counts and Countesses

Tonight I went to see The Marriage of Figaro with a very dear friend of mine, and it was a wonderful experience. The cast was fantastic, the company was great, and the subject matter of the show made me do a lot of shuffling in my seat. The entire show is about love and its intricacies in relationships, and this particular cast even has a sweet background romance in its midst: Figaro (Matthew Burns) and his love, Susanna (Anne-Carolyn Bird), are married in real life, having met playing these roles. As in most epic tales, there’s a juxtaposition between the healthy but circumstantially thwarted love of Figaro and Susanna, the servants of the Count and Countess, and that of the Count and Countess themselves.

The libretto from 1786, courtesy of Wikimedia Commons.

The libretto from 1786, courtesy of Wikimedia Commons.

It’s been a while since I’ve heard Figaro, and I’ve never seen it live before. As amazing as it was, it was also uncomfortable, because the philandering Count and his embittered, codependent Countess made me cringe. In the third act, the Countess laments her husband’s cruel treatment of her, and the loss of the happiness in their marriage.  Maybe I could fix it all, she decides. And she does. Because it’s fiction.

Jane Bishop did a translation of the aria here:
Dove sono i bei moment
Di dolcezza e di piacer?
Dove andaro i giuramenti
Di quel labbro menzogner?
Perchè mai, se in pianti e in pene
Per me tutto si cangiò,
La memoria di quel bene
Dal mio sen non trapassò?
Ah! se almen la mia costanza,
Nel languire amando ognor,
Mi portasse una speranza
Di cangiar l’ingrato cor!

Where are the lovely moments
Of sweetness and pleasure?
Where have the promises gone
That came from those lying lips?
Why, if all is changed for me
Into tears and pain,
Has the memory of that goodness
Not vanished from my breast?
Ah! if only, at least, my faithfulness,
Which still loves amidst its suffering,
Could bring me the hope
Of changing that ungrateful heart!

The drive home was a quiet one, with lots of pondering.

With my friend The New Yorker

Dinner pre-show with my friend The New Yorker

Old News

Okay, y’all, please pardon my poor taste in this digression: my son really loves Pink.

Pink, Queen, and pretty much every British invasion band ever.

Mostly, I’m okay with that.

Here’s why:

(Bah dah dah dah dah dah.)

Pink’s videos are genius.

If you can’t sing the praises (I’m groaning, too) of her musical genius, at the very least you can appreciate that these videos are incredibly well put together.

And here’s another plus: Pink isn’t some Avril Lavigne or Miley Cyrus or Selena Gomez or Brittany… you get the picture. She seems to be a pop star that is also a strong woman, and more emotionally honest than most.

“I can be so mean when I wanna be, I am capable of really anything…”

I can’t say that I’m thrilled with the musical quality, but I will say that I do think she seems like she would probably be cool to hang out with.

Jesus Christ Superstar

We were lucky enough to snag tickets to go see Jesus Christ Superstar at the Williamsburg Players.

In our version, Jesus looked a little bit like Justin Bieber with pink lipstick.
Still awesome.

Enjoy the Silence

The Libran is moving. Will return soon.